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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163950">Blush</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodySimpsonChibi/pseuds/BloodySimpsonChibi'>BloodySimpsonChibi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:08:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodySimpsonChibi/pseuds/BloodySimpsonChibi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots revolving around Bleach girls dealing with embarrassing situations.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo, Shihouin Yoruichi &amp; Sui-Feng | Soifon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Rukia and the Diary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rukia and the Diary</p>
<p>"There! All finished!" Ichigo said as he got up from scrubbing the floor. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon for the orange-haired shinigami and he had the house to himself as his sisters were at a friend's house and his father was...somewhere. He really didn't care. Rukia was in Soul Society and even Kon was out of his hair, having been dragged away by Yuzu. Ichigo had decided that the best use of his time alone was to clean his room and he had just finished scrubbing every nook and cranny.</p>
<p>Well. Almost.</p>
<p>Ichigo found himself staring down his own closet. Every other week or so, Rukia would use it had her rent-free motel whenever she was in the world of the living. Now Ichigo and Rukia were indeed good friends, having been through so much together, but this didn't change the fact that Rukia was a girl and Ichigo felt uneasy at the thought of snooping through a place where a girl regularly sleeps. At least until a thought came to mind.</p>
<p>"This is my closet dammit!"</p>
<p>And with that, Ichigo opening the door and got started. It only took him about five minutes to take everything off the floor and scrub it down. After waiting several more minutes for it to dry, Ichigo started putting everything back. The last thing to be returned was Rukia's futon. As Ichigo was setting it down however, a small object fell out of it, slamming right onto Ichigo's bare foot.</p>
<p>"Ouch! What the hell!?" He shouted.</p>
<p>Ichigo quickly grabbed the object off the floor and glared at it, only for his anger to turn into confusion when he saw what it was.</p>
<p>"It's a...diary?"</p>
<p>Sure enough, the object Ichigo was holding was a diary. The cover was a light-purple with gold trimming and the title, "My Diary." was written in cursive..</p>
<p>"Rukia...has a diary?"</p>
<p>Ichigo mindlessly flipped through it, seeing that a good portion of the diary had already been filled. Rukia had had this for a while. Suddenly Ichigo slammed the book shut.</p>
<p>"What the hell am I doing?" Ichigo asked himself. "I can't read through a girl's diary. I'm not Kon! I better put it back where I found it."</p>
<p>Before Ichigo could do that, he noticed in his haste to shut the book that he had bent the top corner of the page he was on.</p>
<p>"Crap. I gotta fix that!"</p>
<p>Ichigo opened it up in order to fix the corner, trying not to let his eyes absorb the text. Sadly, "and then Renji's pants exploded." still managed to catch his attention. Without meaning to, he started reading.</p>
<p>Dear Diary, today I was enjoying a delightful lunch with Onii-chan when Renji broke into the room. He seemed excited and was wearing strange rubber pants underneath his robes. I asked Renji what those pants were for and he explained that Kisuke had made them as defense in the fight against hollows. Renji pulled on a cord attached to the pants and they inflated. "This will help us bounce right back into battle when we get knocked back." He said. And then Renji's pants exploded. The force sent our food flying off the table and Onii-chan took out his zanpaktou, forcing Renji to run away in his green pineapple print boxers. I still feel a little sorry for him but I would be lying if I said the whole thing wasn't at least amusing.</p>
<p>Ichigo fell backwards and rolled on the floor, laughing his ass off.</p>
<p>"Oh man! I wish I could had seen that!"</p>
<p>After a few minutes, Ichigo was able to regain his composure and think.</p>
<p>"Ok. That was funny. But now I have to put the diary back for real. Rukia hasn't been in the best mood lately and she'd kill me if she knew I read her diary."</p>
<p>Ichigo was about to put it back but he wasn't done thinking.</p>
<p>"Come to think of it, Rukia has been a little off lately. Maybe something is bothering her."</p>
<p>Ichigo looked at the diary and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>"Ok. One more time. But only because I need to help her if I can."</p>
<p>Ichigo even skipped to the last entry to keep from reading anything unnecessary.</p>
<p>Dear Diary, I have been plagued by two recurring dreams as of late. One of them is an absolute nightmare and the other...well...let's talk about the nightmare first. In it, we are back at the battle against Aizen a year ago. Me and the others are heading toward the sight of the battle as we have before. A shadow approaches us from the dust and I think it's Ichigo. But it always turns out to be Aizen, holding Ichigo's limp body like a rag doll. I wake up drenched in sweat every time and I haven't told anyone.</p>
<p>Ichigo felt a lump of ice in his throat. "Rukia. All this time. And to be dealing with it all alone."</p>
<p>Ichigo put those thoughts to the side and continued reading, expecting the other dream to be similar.</p>
<p>As for the other dream...well...I really don't want to talk about it but since no one will ever read this, I suppose it's ok to write it out here.</p>
<p>"It must be an even worse dream than the last one if she's this reluctant to talk about it." Ichigo thought.</p>
<p>Me and Ichigo are on a moonlit beach. It's just the two of us there. We're standing in front of each other, looking into each other's eyes. Then he wraps his arms around me and...</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>..</p>
<p>..</p>
<p>Ichigo was speechless. His face was red all over and he couldn't think clearly, trying to process everything he just read.</p>
<p>"Ichigo!"</p>
<p>"To think that Rukia would have those kinds of dreams. And with me of all people."</p>
<p>"Ichigo!"</p>
<p>"I gotta put this damn thing back now before she-</p>
<p>"ICHIGO!"</p>
<p>Ichigo gulped then turned his head to the window where the voice originated from. Sitting there and giving Ichigo a death glare was Rukia. Her face was red as well but Ichigo couldn't tell if she was blushing or fuming. Perhaps it was both.</p>
<p>"Rukia!? I-I can e-explain!"</p>
<p>"Stop reading my diary this instant!" Rukia jumped into the room and tore the diary out of Ichigo's hands, the page still open on the entry he was reading.</p>
<p>"I can't believe you Ichigo! What's wrong with you?" Rukia closed the book, turning even redder in the face once she saw what page he was on.</p>
<p>"Now before you get any ideas about that dream...</p>
<p>"I don't have any ideas!" Ichigo defended. I'm not some pervert! And besides you're the one who's having those dreams in the first place!"</p>
<p>"I don't choose too!" Rukia yelled. "They just happen!"</p>
<p>"Does that go for the Aizen dream too?" Ichigo asked.</p>
<p>Rukia's expression turned from anger to sadness as she look down.</p>
<p>"I know it's silly to have nightmares of something like that.."</p>
<p>"It's not silly!" Ichigo pulled Rukia into a tight hug, surprising her.</p>
<p>"I-Ichigo!"</p>
<p>"But you don't have to deal with that alone! I'm here. Orihime, Chad and all the others are here too. We're all here and alive and Aizen is locked up."</p>
<p>Ichigo relaxed his grip a little but still had his hands on her shoulders.</p>
<p>"You can always turn to us for things like this. Don't ever forget that."</p>
<p>Rukia continued to look down but a small smile escaped her lips.</p>
<p>"Thank you Ichigo."</p>
<p>Ichigo let out a sigh of relief. "I'm really sorry I read your diary. I had no right to do that and it won't happen again."</p>
<p>"Just so I know, how many more entries did you read?" Rukia asked.</p>
<p>"Just those dream ones and the one about Renji's pants exploding."</p>
<p>Rukia chuckled upon hearing that.</p>
<p>"I forgot how funny that day was. Apology accepted Ichigo."</p>
<p>The two hugged it out again and Rukia left, diary in tow. She continued moving across town until she was sure she was far away from Ichigo's house. She opened her diary up and saw that last page she wrote an entry in was stuck to the page Ichigo read. Rukia let out her own sigh of relief.</p>
<p>"The fact that Ichigo knows about these dreams of mine is pretty embarrassing." She mused. "But at least he didn't get into the one where Kaien joined in."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rangiku and the Tattoo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rangiku and the Tattoo</p>
<p>It was a bright and sunny day in Karakura Town. The hollow attacks had let up and any soul reapers (other than Ichigo) that were here were simply enjoying the peace. This was not the case for Rangiku, who slowly picked herself up from the park's grassy ground. She had one hell of a hangover.</p>
<p>"Ugh. Where am I?"</p>
<p>She brightened up when she saw a bottle of sake in her hand and tried to drink some but was disappointed to discover it was already empty.</p>
<p>"Drat."</p>
<p>Rangiku got up and dusted herself off before giving herself a thorough look-over.</p>
<p>"All my clothes on, including shoes. Check. Hair mostly kept. Check. Tattoo of my captain on my left boob. Che- What the hell?"</p>
<p>On Rangiku's left breast, there was indeed a tattoo of what was supposed to be her captain Toshiro Hitsugaya. However it was very poorly drawn, making Toshiro look like a disfigured gremlin. The letters underneath, meant to read "my captain", were misspelled and instead read. "My Capptoon."</p>
<p>"When the hell did I get this monstrosity?" Rangiku racked her brain for answers but only got a headache for her troubles.</p>
<p>"Ahh who cares? This is just a gigai after all. It's not like I have the tattoo actually imprinted on my soul."</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>"What do you mean I have it imprinted on my soul!?" Rangiku shouted. The Squad 10 lieutenant was at Urahara Shop back in her true form. However, the tattoo was still on her person.</p>
<p>"Easy. Easy!" Kisuke said. "Let me explain. Last night you got the idea in your head that having a tattoo of Captain Hitsugaya would be the coolest thing ever. I should mention you were very drunk."</p>
<p>"Get to the point!" Rangiku screamed.</p>
<p>"You came here and said you liked it so much you wanted to take it back to Soul Society with you. So you had me use kido to imprint it on your soul reaper body as well as the gigai."</p>
<p>"Why would you agree to something like that?"</p>
<p>"You are very convincing when you're drunk."</p>
<p>Rangiku suddenly grabbed Kisuke by the shirt and pulled him closer to her.</p>
<p>"Now listen here you old fart! I may not have the most shame among the Soul Society but I still have a reputation to uphold! Not to mention that the Captain will kill me if he finds out about this damn thing! You have to get rid of it!"</p>
<p>"Okay I see your point." Kisuke pulled away and cleared his throat. "The good news is that there is a kido spell that can get rid of your tattoo, both on your gigai and your body."</p>
<p>Rangiku moped. "When people say good news, that usually means there's bad news as well."</p>
<p>"And that bad news is that it will take 24 hours to charge up the kido."</p>
<p>Rangiku's jaw dropped. "24 Hours! I can't spend 24 hours with this...thing!" Rangiku sobbed pointing to her tattoo. Kisuke just shrugged. Suddenly, Rangiku's phone rang.</p>
<p>"Hello?" She answered, trying to hide the panic in her voice.</p>
<p>"Rangiku!" Where are you!?"</p>
<p>"C-Captain!?"</p>
<p>"Get over here right now! We're swamped with paperwork and I need your help."</p>
<p>"But Captain-"</p>
<p>"Right now!" Toshiro hung up.</p>
<p>Rangiku let out a groan of frustration. "I guess I have no choice." She turned to Kiskae. "Just please have it ready by then."</p>
<p>"Of course." Kiskae promised.</p>
<p>When Rangiku arrived in Soul Society, the first thing she did was fix her robes so her tattoo was covered.</p>
<p>"Just 24 hours. Just 24 hours." She repeated in her mind.</p>
<p>Rangiku walked briskly toward the Squad 10 barracks, doing her best not to attract any unwelcome attention. Unfortunately, unwelcome attention did find her in the form of Shuhei who was walking down the street toward her.</p>
<p>"Good Morning Rangiku." The Squad 9 lieutenant greeted.</p>
<p>"Oh. H-Hello Shuhei." Rangiku muttered uncomfortably.</p>
<p>"How are you...um Rangiku? You're wearing your robes different today."</p>
<p>"Oh yeah." Rangiku shifted around nervously. "I just felt like trying trying something different today."</p>
<p>Shuhei's face changed from happy to concerned. "Are you all right Rangiku?"</p>
<p>"Of course I am! Never better! Now I really got to get to the Squad 10 barracks before my Captain gets mad! Bye-bye!" Rangiku continued toward her barracks, quickening her pace a little. Shuhei just stood there dumbfounded.</p>
<p>"Why is Rangiku acting so weird and modest all of a sudden?" He thought. "Oh no! Could it be that she...has a boyfriend!?"</p>
<p>Shuhei slumped down in despair. "I think I need a drink."</p>
<p>Rangiku, meanwhile already had the barracks in sight. "I'm almost home free!" She thought.</p>
<p>As she was nearing the barracks, however, she saw 8th Squad lieutenant Nanao approaching her. "Good morning Mastsumoto!" She greeted.</p>
<p>"Drat!" Rangiku cursed. "H-Hi Nanao!"</p>
<p>"Matsumoto!" Nanao exclaimed. "You're covering up more than usual today!"</p>
<p>"Why is everyone up in my business today?" Rangiku thought miserably. "I just felt kinda chilly today is all. Anyway I gotta go. My Captain's calling. You know how it is."</p>
<p>"Uh huh." Nanao muttered suspiciously as Rangiku bolted back to her barracks.</p>
<p>"It's warmer today than it's been all summer." Nanao mused "What's with Rangiku?" Then suddenly an idea hit her. "Wait could Rangiku be acting strange because she...has a boyfriend!?"</p>
<p>Nanao stood there for a few seconds, reeling from the shock of her apparent revelation.</p>
<p>"I must call a meeting of the Soul Reaper Women's Association at once!"</p>
<p>"Where the hell is Rangiku?" Toshiro asked himself angrily as he shifted through his paperwork. Thanks to last week's incident involving some arrancar and two gallons of gasoline, the Squad 10 Captain was up to his neck in paperwork. And as usual, his lieutenant was missing in action. Suddenly, the door to his office flew open and she darted into the room.</p>
<p>"You're late." He stated flatly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry Captain." Rangiku bowed her head in apology. "I'll get started right away." Rangiku took a seat next to Toshiro and began to work. Toshiro was about to do the same but noticed something off about his lieutenant.</p>
<p>"You're wearing your robe more modestly today." He said.</p>
<p>"Uhh. Yeah! It's..ur...th-the new fashion trend in the world of the living." Rangiku lied.</p>
<p>"To cover up the skin that you usually show?" Toshiro asked.</p>
<p>"Uhhh Yeah! Modesty is the new sexy Captain!"</p>
<p>Toshiro glared at Rangiku for a few moments, causing her to sweat profusely as she put on a fake smile through her reddening cheeks. Then he just shrugged and went back to work. Rangiku wiped the sweat off her brow and began working as well.</p>
<p>"Maybe Rangiku is finally taking her work seriously." He thought. "Eh. A guy can hope."</p>
<p>A few hours passed and the two were almost finished when a rock flew in from the window and hit Toshiro on the forehead.</p>
<p>"Ow!"</p>
<p>"What the?" Rangiku got up to the window and saw Shuhei standing outside the building. He had a Human World radio and was obviously drunk.</p>
<p>"Rangiku!" He cried out. "I know you're already seeing someone but the guys at the bar and sake have convinced me to fight for you!" And with that, Shuhei turned the radio on and blasted "Everytime We Touch" loud enough for the whole Squad 10 barracks to hear. Needless to say. Rangiku was embarrassed.</p>
<p>"Shuhei! Cut that out!" She demanded. But Shuhei could not hear her over the song or his bad singing alongside it.</p>
<p>"EVERYTIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING..."</p>
<p>"Sit upon the frosted heavens, Hyorinmaru!"</p>
<p>Toshiro's ice dragon suddenly charged right into Shuhei, freezing the lieutenant in place.</p>
<p>"Th-Thanks Captain!" Rangiku chirped. "But uhhh... he'll be alright..right?"</p>
<p>"He'll thaw out in a few hours." Toshiro groaned as her rubbed his forehead. "Now let's get back to work."</p>
<p>"Right!"</p>
<p>At long last, the work was finished and both Toshiro and Rangiku let out big sighs of relieve.</p>
<p>"Just a few more hours." Rangiku thought as she rubbed her chest. "Just a few more hours and this stupid thing will be gone for good."</p>
<p>Just then, a Hell butterfly flew into the room.</p>
<p>"What? An emergency meeting of the Soul Reaper Women's Association?" Rangiku turned to her Captain but he answered before she could speak.</p>
<p>"Our work is already finished so you can go."</p>
<p>"Thanks Captain!" Rangiku jumped out the window, prepared to flash-step all the way to Byakuya's mansion but was surprised to find all the members standing outside the building waiting for her.</p>
<p>"Hey guys!" She greeted as she jumped down to meet them. "What's up?"</p>
<p>"Who is he!?" Kiyone shouted out loud.</p>
<p>"Kiyone!" Isane shouted at her sister.</p>
<p>Rangiku was confused. "Who?"</p>
<p>"The man you're seeing." Nanao explained as she fixed her glasses. "Also why is Shuhei Hisagi frozen outside your barracks?"</p>
<p>"Don't worry about that." Rangiku stated. "And why would you think I was seeing someone!?"</p>
<p>Nemu spoke up. "Nanao and the others think that you're seeing someone because of the way you're wearing your robe today."</p>
<p>Rangiku looked down at herself and then back to the group. "What? Can't a girl just be more modest for no reason?"</p>
<p>"Not if it's someone like you who's always parading themselves everywhere." Soi Fon argued. Rangiku noticed that Soi Fon was missing her Captain's haori...again but decided to ignore the hypocrisy and sighed heavily.</p>
<p>"You're not gonna leave me alone until you know the real reason I'm hiding my cleavage right?"</p>
<p>"Right!" Yachiru popped out from behind Unohana.</p>
<p>"All right. Follow me inside." Rangiku led the group to the inside of the building and into a hallway. "Now you have to promise me that this never leaves this hall."</p>
<p>All the other women nodded in agreement. Rangiku took a deep breath and loosened her robe, revealing the tattoo to her fellow soul reapers.</p>
<p>There was silence.</p>
<p>Then Soi Fon let out a smirk as she tried to keep from laughing before finally giving up and exploding into laughter. She fell on the floor and began rolling left and right as she held onto her sides.</p>
<p>"Oh my gosh!" Momo cried. "What have you done to Toshiro!?"</p>
<p>"I was drunk alright!" Rangiku defended. "And apparently I had it imprinted on my soul as well as my gigai. I'm waiting until tomorrow morning for Kisuke to fix it.</p>
<p>"Hehe! Toshi looks like a frog!" Yachiru chirped.</p>
<p>"Chairwoman! Please don't say such things about the 10th Captain. Even if they are true!" Isane stated.</p>
<p>"Isane!" Kiyone shouted.</p>
<p>"What's going on here?" Rangiku gulped as she heard a familiar voice, fixed her robes again and turned to see her Captain standing behind her.</p>
<p>"I thought you were heading to Soul Reaper Woman's Association meeting?" He asked.</p>
<p>Rangiku was about to explain but Nanao spoke up.</p>
<p>"There is currently a termite infestation at the Kuchki Manor so we had the meeting here. We're finished already."</p>
<p>"Achoo!" Byakuya sneezed. "Why do I feel like I've just been insulted?"</p>
<p>"Very well." Toshiro said as he left the hall.</p>
<p>Once she was sure he was out of earshot, Rangiku once again made everyone promise not to say anything.</p>
<p>"We promise. Unohana said as she turned to Soi Fon who was still laughing on the floor. "Right Soi Fon?"</p>
<p>Soi Fon suddenly stopped laughing and got up quickly. "Right."</p>
<p>The Soul Reaper women left and Rangiku stretched her arms.</p>
<p>"Time to hit the hay and tomorrow this will all be over."</p>
<p>When Rangiku woke up the next morning, the first thing she did was make sure her Captain was still in bed. When she saw the lump underneath his covers, she assumed the coast was clear and opened the quick senkaimon Kisuke had lent her to head straight toward his shop.</p>
<p>"He has to have the kido ready by now." She tought as she ran into the building. Sure enough, Kisuke was there, ready and waiting although he seemed nervous.</p>
<p>"Is it ready?" Rangiku asked with excitement and fear in her voice.</p>
<p>"Well yes but.." He trailed off.</p>
<p>"Rangiku!" Toshiro popped out from behind Kisuke, startling Rangiku.</p>
<p>"C-Captain!" She yelped. "What are you doing here!?"</p>
<p>"I should be asking you that!" Toshiro hissed. "You were acting suspicious all day yesterday and I'm here to get to the bottom of it. Now what was Kisuke supposed to have ready?"</p>
<p>"Ummmm.."</p>
<p>"It's bad to lie to your captain Rangiku." Toshiro warned.</p>
<p>Rangiku whimpered a bit. "Alright fine! I'll show you. I wanted Kisuke to get rid of this!" And with that Rangiku loosened her robe and revealed her tattoo.</p>
<p>Once again, silence.</p>
<p>"WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT!?" Toshiro screamed. "Is-is that supposed to be me? I look like a deformed potato! and what the heck does Capptoon mean?"</p>
<p>"Captain." Rangiku answered.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"It's supposed to say Captain. My Captain." Rangiku replied, blushing slightly.</p>
<p>Toshiro stood silent for a moment, blushing as well, before clearing his throat.</p>
<p>"Well if Kisuke intends to get rid of it, then I guess I can look past this for now. But let this be a warning about the dangers of drinking irresponsibly." And with that, Toshiro flash stepped away.</p>
<p>"Now that that's over with." Kisuke said as he fixed his hat. "Let's get rid of that tattoo."</p>
<p>At last Rangiku was rid of the embarrassing marking and learned a valuable lesson on the dangers of alcohol...a lesson she forgot by the next day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Isane and the Fishcake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Isane and the Fishcake</p><p>"Fischcake!?" The 4th Division lieutenant awoke with a start, having had another nightmare about the gelatinous seafood. Once she calmed down, Isane hid under her blankets in shame. "Why does this keep happening to me? I'm a grown woman for the Soul King's sake!"</p><p>"Isane? Are you alright?" Isane popped out of the covers at the sound of her captain's voice and saw her peering in from the hallway.</p><p>"I'm fine Captain Unohana!" Isane replied. "I just had that silly nightmare again."</p><p>"Well make sure to get some sleep." Unohana said warmly. "We have a SWA meeting tomorrow."</p><p>"Of course! Good night!"</p><p>After Unohana left, Isane tried to go back to sleep but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't forget the fishcake nightmare. Every time she would close her eyes she would see it. It's disgusting texture. It's gloomy grey coloring. The unholy knowledge that what made up the cake used to be alive and swim in it's own waste. It made Isane shiver just thinking about it.</p><p>It was a long night for the 4th Division lieutenant.</p><p>Isane dragged herself in tow with her captain as they made their way into the meeting room.</p><p>"Are you alright Isane?" Unohana asked. "You look like death."</p><p>"I'm fine Captain." Isane uttered weakly through a fake smile. "I just had a little trouble getting back to sleep last night is all."</p><p>"I see. Are you sure you are alright to attend this meeting?"</p><p>"Of course Captain!"</p><p>The two women took their seats and waited for the meeting to begin.</p><p>"Good morning everyone!" Nanao began. "We are here today to discuss our plans for the upcoming festival. First off, what kind of food should be served there?</p><p>"Candy!" Yachiru chirped. "And cookies."</p><p>"Excellent start Chairwoman." Nanao praised. "But we also need to serve non-sweet food if we're to keep all guest happy."</p><p>Rukia raised her hand. "In the World of the Living, festivals usually serve food that's been bathed in hot cooking oil. They call it fried food."</p><p>"Fried food?" Momo exclaimed. "That's sounds weird but tasty."</p><p>"I think Lady Yoruichi mentioned fried food once." Soi Fon mused.</p><p>"Orihime is an expert on fried foods!" Rangiku added happily. "Fried dango. Fried sweet potatoes. Fried curry."</p><p>"How do you fry curry?" Rukia asked with a confused look on her face.</p><p>As she was listening to all of this, Kiyone noticed her sister struggling to stay awake.</p><p>"Hey Isane." She whispered. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Hrmm?" Isane turned her sleepy eyes toward her sister. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."</p><p>Kiyone wasn't convinced but let it go for the moment. Isane, on the other hand, was fighting a losing battle with her exhaustion. Her eyelids felt heavier and heavier by the second.</p><p>"Come on!" She mentally pleaded with herself. "Stay awake!"</p><p>"Isane." Unohana's soft yet stern voice uttered, somehow snapping Isane out of her daze.</p><p>"I'm awake!" She shouted.</p><p>"Good." Unohana beamed as she turned her attention back to the meeting. Isane let out a heavy sigh and did the same.</p><p>"So far, we have ideas for deep fried food and food dipped in chocolate." Nanao stated. "Now both are good ideas but there remains one problem. What exactly are going to serve deep fried and dipped in chocolate?</p><p>"Candy!" Yachiru shouted.</p><p>"Cookies shaped like Chappy!" Rukia chimed in.</p><p>"Cookies shaped like Admiral Seaweed." Byakyua popped his head into the doorway just to add that before leaving again.</p><p>"These chemicals Master Mayuri gave me." Nemu said as she looked down the box of test tubes she was holding.</p><p>"Gosh. All this thinking about food has made me hungry." Momo whined while rubbing her stomach.</p><p>"Hold on." Nanao replied. "I've got just the thing." And with that, the 8th Division lieutenant left the room.</p><p>Isane let herself relax a little. "I'm not really hungry." She thought to herself. "But maybe some snacks will help wake me up."</p><p>Nanao returned to the room holding a large tray with a cover on it.</p><p>"I picked a special snack just for today's meeting." She beamed as she grabbed the cover and pulled on it. "Fishcake!"</p><p>"What!?" Isane snapped out of her stupor upon hearing this. To her horror, the objects on Nanao's tray were indeed fishcakes. The shape and smell were unmistakable.</p><p>"How wonderful." Unohana smiled, shocking Isane even further. "They look delicious."</p><p>"C-Captain!?"</p><p>"All right!" Kiyone shouted. "Fishcake is my favorite!"</p><p>"K-Kiyone?" Isane couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her Captain had always been indifferent to fishcake and her sister hated it almost as much as she did. What brought on these changes?</p><p>"Here you go Isane." Nanao set a plate of fishcake in front of Isane, who was starting to shiver.</p><p>"What's going on?" Isane thought as she watched her fellow female soul reapers scarf down the fishcake. "Why is there fishcake everywhere?"</p><p>"How yummy!" Yachiru shouted.</p><p>"It's so good." Momo added.</p><p>Isane forced herself to look at the fishcake set before and watched in horror as a mouth slowly began to open on it.</p><p>" Eat me." It rasped.</p><p>"Fishcake!" Isane screamed at the top of her lungs. After she stopped and began breathing heavy, she noticed everyone looking at her with concerned expressions. Not a single fishcake was in sight.</p><p>"Wha-What?" Isane whimpered. "Where'd the fishcake go?"</p><p>"Lieutenant Kotetsu!" Nanao exclaimed. "Are you all right?"</p><p>"What's this about fishcake?" Rukia added.</p><p>"Oh dear." Unohana pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head sadly.</p><p>Isane's face began turning pink as she realized what had happened.</p><p>"I fell asleep at the meeting!" She thought miserably. Even worse, her little outburst upon waking up might have cued everyone in on her deep dark secret and it was not something Isane wanted everyone else to know.</p><p>"Well...I was..just...</p><p>"Isane was just suggesting fishcake for the festival." Unohana chimed in "Albeit a little too enthusiastically."</p><p>The pink on Isane's face turned a bright red. "C-Captain!"</p><p>"Is that so?" Nanao asked. "Fishcake sounds like a rather odd choice for festival food."</p><p>"It's an acquired taste which we think will make our festival more memorable." Unohana cooed. All the other women murmured in agreement.</p><p>Nanao pushed up her glasses. "Very well. The main dish of our festival will be fishcake."</p><p>Isane's heart dropped at those words.</p><p>Just then, a Hell Butterfly flew next to Nanao.</p><p>"and apparently my Captain has accidentally set fire to the Squad 8 barracks again. We'll continue this meeting later this week."</p><p>With that Nanao flash stepped away while everyone else got up and left normally. As Unohana and Isane walked back to their barracks, the Squad 4 Captain noticed her lieutenant looking flushed and forlorn. Clearly, she was quite ashamed of what had happened at the meeting.</p><p>"Do not fret Isane." Unohana reassured with a warm smile. "When the meeting resumes, I will convince Nanao that we changed our minds."</p><p>Isane lifted her head a little and returned a small smile. "Thank you Captain!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Yoruichi and what she does in her free time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yoruichi and what she does in her free time.</p><p>It had been a rather boring day in Soul Society, at least it was for Soi Fon. When she wasn't training, giving orders to her ninjas or beating Omeada, The 2nd Division Captain was sitting at her desk hoping that Yoruichi would show up. Her former mentor hadn't payed a visit to Soul Society in awhile and she was beginning to worry.</p><p>"Why is Lady Yoruichi spending all her time at that damn Urahara's shop? Soi Fon thought angrily.</p><p>Then an idea came to her. "Wait a minute! Why don't I visit Lady Yoruichi in the World of the Living for a change. A huge smile grew on Soi Fon's face as her eyes brightened. "She'd never see it coming and I'm sure she'll be pleasantly surprised. Soi Fon's smile quickly faded. "It does mean I'll have to go to that idiot's shop." Then it came back. "But if it's for Lady Yoruichi then I'd go through Hell itself!"</p><p>Soi Fon wasted no time getting a Senkaimon ready, running into her lieutenant on the way.</p><p>"I'm making an emergency visit to the World of the Living Omeada. Do not attempt to host another Soul Reaper Men Association here while I'm gone."</p><p>"No promises Captain" Omeada said coyly.</p><p>Soi Fon wanted to beat him up for that but decided that Yoruichi was more important and so off to the World of the Living she went.</p><p>"It sure is quiet around here." Soi Fon said to herself as she walked the streets of Karakura Town. Night had fallen and there was no trace of Hollows anywhere which meant no distractions. Soi Fon was happy about that. The Squad 2 leader found herself standing in front of Urahara Shop and she could sense Yoruichi's spiritual pressure.</p><p>"Lady Yoruichi!" Soi Fon thought happily.</p><p>Just then, Urahara swung the front door open.</p><p>"Soi Fon!" He shouted happily. "It's good to see you!"</p><p>"Great. I had to run into this idiot first." Soi Fon cursed through gritted teeth. "Hello Kisuke. Where is Lady Yoruichi?" She got straight to the point.</p><p>"Oh she's busy right now." Urahara yawned. "But if you want Tessai just made a fresh batch of...Soi Fon?"</p><p>Urahara looked back and forth but could not find the 2nd Division Captain.</p><p>"Where'd she go?" He asked himself as he scratched his head.</p><p>Soi Fon meanwhile flash stepped around the building looking for Yoruichi. She zeroed in on her spiritual pressure through a single window.</p><p>"Gotcha!" Soi Fon thought happily. "I'll sneak thought the window and surprise Lady Yoruichi."</p><p>Soi Fon opened the window and crept inside. Yoruichi was sitting in front of a TV, somehow completely oblivious to Soi Fon's presence. The 2nd division captain thought it was a little strange but shrugged it off and began creeping closer and closer to her former mentor. As she did so, however, she noticed something on the TV screen. Something that stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>"Why are that boy and girl dressed like that?"</p><p>"OH SHI-</p><p>Yoruichi practically jumped out of her skin before turning to face Soi Fon, her arms outstretched in a attempt to hide the screen.</p><p>"S-S-Soi Fon!" Yoruichi greeted nervously. "W-What are you d-doing here!?"</p><p>Soi Fon stared at her former mentor in confusion for a few moments before clearing her throat and speaking.</p><p>"Lady Yoruichi, you haven't paid a visit to Soul Society in a while so I thought I'd visit you for a change."</p><p>Yoruichi sighed heavily and smiled warmly, seeming to have regained her composure.</p><p>"Look at that. My little bee following in my footsteps." She cooed.</p><p>Soi Fon blushed slightly. "Dammit! I was supposed to be my turn this time." Remembering the TV, Soi Fon pushed the thought out of her head.</p><p>"Lady Yoruichi." She asked. "May I ask what you were watching?"</p><p>Yoruichi's smile sightly faltered and Soi Fon thought she could she red glow from the she-cat's cheeks.</p><p>"Oh that." Yoruichi sighed as she turned to the TV. On the screen a boy dressed as a black cat and a girl dressed as a ladybug seemed to be doing battle with a goofy-looking villain.</p><p>"It's a cartoon that I've gotten into recently." Yoruichi admitted, the red on her face growing.</p><p>"A cartoon?" Soi Fon. "Aren't those shows that humans make for children?"</p><p>"Well yes." Yoruichi agreed sheepishly "But some adults like to watch them too.</p><p>Soi Fon gasped upon the realization of what she had just implied and bowed in repentance at Yoruichi's feet.</p><p>"I-I didn't mean it like that!" She blurted out. "Surely if this cartoon has your approval Lady Yoruichi, then it must be of only the highest caliber!"</p><p>Yoruichi couldn't help but laugh. Soi Fon looked up at her former mentor in confusion at first but then joined her in laughter as Yoruichi helped her up.</p><p>"Would you like to watch an episode with me?" Yoruichi asked. "Then we can enjoy Tessai's cookies."</p><p>Soi Fon returned a warm smile to Yoruichi. "I would love to Lady Yoruichi." The two soul reaper women sat down and continued watching.</p><p>"That boy in the black cat costume reminds me of you Lady Yoruichi!" Soi Fon pointed out gleefully.</p><p>"How funny." Yoruichi purred. "He happens to be my favorite character."</p><p>Kisuke watched from the doorway as the two continued talking before turning to the reader.</p><p>"If you thought the author meant something perverted when he mention's Yoruichi's free time, then you clearly have no sense of humor."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Unohana's off day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unohana's off day</p><p>(I couldn't really think of a good enough idea so here's the shortest chapter of this fic!)</p><p>It was a quiet day at the Squad 4 barracks with Isane and Hantaro finishing up on a patient.</p><p>"There. All finished." Hantaro said.</p><p>"Very good work." Isane praised.</p><p>"Thank you Lieutenant." Hantaro replied while rubbing the back of his head.</p><p>As the two soul reapers started packing up their supplies, Unohana came through the door, having returned from the Captain's meeting.</p><p>"Good Evening Isane. Hantaro." She greeted.</p><p>"Good morning Captai-" Isane froze up the instant she saw her captain. Her eyes rolled toward Hantaro who had the same look of disbelief that she had. Unohana didn't seem to noticed and went off to her office.</p><p>"Did you see that?" Isane finally spoke up after several minutes of stunned silence.</p><p>"Yeah. Captain Unohana MPRRMMPH!</p><p>Isane quickly slapped her hand over Hantaro's mouth.</p><p>"Don't say it aloud! She might hear you!</p><p>Hantaro struggled in Isane's arms for a few seconds before going limp.</p><p>"Oh no!" Isane shouted as she let go of Hantaro and he dropped to the floor. "I made Hantaro faint again!"</p><p>"Isane," Unohana asked as she reentered the room. "Is something the matter?"</p><p>"Of course not Captain!" Isane choked.</p><p>"Hantaro is unconscious on the floor." Unohana said as-a-matter-of-factly.</p><p>Isane sighed and got up. "Captain Unohana. I feel there is something I should tell you."</p><p>"What is it Isane?"</p><p>Isane shifted around uncomfortably. "Well...er..."</p><p>"Yes...?"</p><p>"Your braid is undone!" Isane finally shouted out, slapping her hands over her mouth as soon as the words escaped her lips.</p><p>Unohana frowned and quickly went over to a nearby mirror. Sure enough, her frontal hair braid was undone and her long hair fell over her breast.</p><p>"Oh dear." She muttered.</p><p>"It's really okay!" Isane reassured her Captain. "Braids come undone all the time."</p><p>"Oh the braid didn't come undone." Unohana replied as she turned to her lieutenant, smiling sheepishly "I simply forgot to braid it this morning."</p><p>(I know. Ridiculously short. I couldn't think of a good way to stretch this out longer. I promise the next one will be much longer!)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Soi Fon and the Poem</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soi fon and The Poem</p>
<p>"Almost done!" Soi fon said to herself as she continued the work before her. Today was Yoruichi's birthday and Urahara was throwing a party at his shop to celebrate. Although Soi fon hated the idea of spending the evening at that shop, she was more than willing to go if it was for Yoruichi.</p>
<p>"Done!" The Stealth Force captain beamed as she looked through her work. "This poem I wrote for Lady Yoruichi is sure to surpass any other gift!" With nothing but pure excitement within her, Soi Fon read over the poem:</p>
<p>Roses are red,</p>
<p>Violets are blue,</p>
<p>Suzumebachi is beautiful,</p>
<p>And so are you.</p>
<p>Arrancar clothes are white,</p>
<p>Good ones are rare,</p>
<p>Lavender is violet,</p>
<p>And so is your hair.</p>
<p>Magnolia grows,</p>
<p>With buds like eggs,</p>
<p>Evidence is strong,</p>
<p>And so are your legs.</p>
<p>Sunflowers reach,</p>
<p>Up to the skies,</p>
<p>Your heart is sunny,</p>
<p>And so are your eyes.</p>
<p>Foxgloves in hedges,</p>
<p>Surround the farms,</p>
<p>Pillows are comfortable,</p>
<p>And so are your arms.</p>
<p>Daisies are pretty,</p>
<p>Urahara has no style,</p>
<p>The day is warm,</p>
<p>And so is your smile.</p>
<p>A Night sky is beautiful,</p>
<p>Just like you.</p>
<p>Soi Fon lowered the poem from her face, sweating profusely but still retaining her smile.</p>
<p>"I can't give her this!" She whispered. "I cannot give this to Lady Yoruichi She might get the wrong idea."</p>
<p>Soi fon took a deep breath and put the poem back on her desk.</p>
<p>"I know! I'll just get her a cat toy again. Lady Yoruichi loves those! Without a moment's hesitation, Soi fon flash-stepped away. Just then, Omaeda came in with a huge sack of paperwork.</p>
<p>"Hey Captain! I've got another stack of paperwork for...Captain?"</p>
<p>Omaeda looked around the room but there was no sign of his captain.</p>
<p>"Captain Soi Fon must have gone out again. I'll just leave this on her desk." The 2nd division lieutenant set the paperwork down on the desk and was about to leave when he noticed a strange folded paper next to the stack.</p>
<p>"Huh? What's this?" Omeada pondered as he picked it up and read it. Suddenly, he started laughing out loud.</p>
<p>"Oh crap!" He wheezed between his laughter. "This has got to be the cheesiest poem I ever and I know a thing or two about cheese." Omaeda looked over the poem again.</p>
<p>"Oh I see! This must be for Yoruichi's birthday party! I guess the Captain forgot to send this to Urahara Shop. Guess it's up to me then!" Omaeda sighed as he put the poem in his pocket.</p>
<p>"Why do rich people have to do all the work?"<br/>-</p>
<p>Soi Fon flash stepped back into her office, holding a squeaky mouse toy.</p>
<p>"There." She chirped. "The perfect gift for Lady Yoruichi!" Soi Fon sat at her desk preparing to wrap her gift when she noticed something was missing.</p>
<p>"Where's my poem?" Soi Fon with the same smiling panicked expression she had earlier.</p>
<p>"Hey Captain!" Omaeda greeted as he entered the room, stuffing his face with chips.</p>
<p>"Omaeda!" Soi Fon snapped. "There was a folded piece of paper here. Do you know where it is!?"</p>
<p>"Oh. You mean that cheesy poem?" Omaeda started laughing. "Don't worry Captain! I already sent it to Urahara Shop."</p>
<p>Soi Fon felt her heart stop as if Hyorinmaru had froze it in place. Omaeda's laughter only worsened the situation.</p>
<p>"Although I have to say Captain." Omaeda continued. "You aren't the best poet. I mean "Evidence is strong and so are your legs"? Only a total pervert would bring up a woman's legs in a birthday poem."</p>
<p>Omaeda would have continued his unwelcome critique of Soi Fon's poem if she hadn't kicked him in the gut and sent him flying through the roof with an uppercut. Once he was nothing more than a gleam in the sky, Soi Fon began to panic.</p>
<p>"This is bad!" She screamed. "I can't let Lady Yoruichi read that poem! I'd never be able to look her in the eye again!" The black-haired soul reaper took deep breaths in a effort to calm down. "I have to get that poem back before she sees it."<br/>-</p>
<p>It was evening at Urahara's Shop and almost everyone was there. Ichigo, Rukia Orihime, Uryu and Chad all talked among themselves while Tessai, Jinta Ururu continued putting up decorations. Urahara and the birthday girl herself, Yoruichi, were talking with each other over the snack table. Soi Fon flash stepped in front of the shop and sighed heavily.</p>
<p>"Here goes nothing." She entered the shop and was immediately swarmed by greeting from the other guest.</p>
<p>"Hello Captain Soi Fon!"</p>
<p>"Hi Soi Fon!"</p>
<p>"Hello."</p>
<p>Hello My little bee!" Yoruichi purred and she patted her former student on the head. "How have you been?"</p>
<p>"F-Fine." An already blushing Soi Fon muttered before bowing her head. "Happy Birthday Lady Yoruichi!"</p>
<p>"Why thank you!" Yoruichi replied with a warm smile, completely oblivious to Soi Fon's inner turmoil.</p>
<p>Soi Fon looked around for the poem and saw the paper nestled among Yoruichi's other presents on a table in the meeting room.</p>
<p>"I have to snatch it before anyone sees it!" She thought as she briskly walked toward the table. Suddenly, Ichigo walked in front of her and stood in her way. He had an awkward look on his face</p>
<p>"Hey Soi Fon." He greeted. "G-Great party isn't it."</p>
<p>"Yes?" Soi Fon replied flatly. She knew Ichigo was trying to strike a conversation with her but now was not the time.</p>
<p>"So you used to be Yoruichi's student huh?" He asked.</p>
<p>"Y-Yes?" Soi Fon answered awkwardly. "What was he getting at?"</p>
<p>"Does that you can transform into a cat too?" Ichigo asked.</p>
<p>Soi Fon was caught completely off guard by that question. "What?"</p>
<p>"I mean Yoruichi can change herself into a cat and your were her student. Did she ever teach you how to transform?"</p>
<p>Soi Fon looked around frantically. She had to get out of this. So she shouted the first thing that came into her mind.</p>
<p>"I have to go to the bathroom." She said with the most serious voice she could muster.</p>
<p>"Oh...ok." Ichigo stepped aside and Soi Fon quickly marched to the bathroom. Once inside, she tore off her Captain's haori and screamed into it.</p>
<p>"I cannot believe I just said that!" She whined. "And I know everyone heard that too!" Once more, the second division captain took a deep breath and sighed heavily.</p>
<p>"Ok. I just have to grab the poem and flash-step out of here." Putting her haori back on, Soi Fon left the bathroom, trying not to show her indignation on her face.</p>
<p>"Time for presents!" Urahara yelled, causing Soi Fon's blood to run cold.</p>
<p>"What!?"</p>
<p>Everyone gathered in the meeting room in front of the present table while Yoruichi and Urahara sat on the other side. Soi Fon rushed in.</p>
<p>"Wait!" She shouted. "S-S-Shouldn't we cut the cake before opening the presents!?"</p>
<p>Urahara sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well you see. The birthday cake I ordered is running a little late so I figured in the meantime we could get started on Yoruichi's presents.</p>
<p>Yoruichi, with a party hat on her head, only responded by blowing her party horn playfully.</p>
<p>Soi Fon gulped and sat down among the group as Yoruichi began.</p>
<p>"The poem is small." She thought hopefully. "Maybe Lady Yoruichi won't even notice it.</p>
<p>"Hmm? What's this little piece of paper?" Yoruichi asked as she picked up Soi Fon's poem.</p>
<p>The 2nd division captain screamed internally.</p>
<p>Yoruichi opened the paper up. "Aww! It's a poem from Soi Fon!" She cooed.</p>
<p>"Please don't read it out loud!" Soi Fon mentally pleaded. Yoruichi cleared her throat and began.</p>
<p>.Roses are red,</p>
<p>Violets are blue,</p>
<p>Suzumebachi is beautiful,</p>
<p>And so are you.</p>
<p>Arrancar clothes are white,</p>
<p>Good ones are rare,</p>
<p>Lavender is violet,</p>
<p>And so is your hair.</p>
<p>Magnolia grows,</p>
<p>With buds like eggs,</p>
<p>Evidence is strong,</p>
<p>And so are your legs.</p>
<p>"Legs? That's a weird thing to bring up in a poem." Ichigo commented.</p>
<p>"Ichigo!" Rukia scolded. "Captain Soi Fon wrote that poem. I think she knows what she's doing."</p>
<p>"This can't be happening." Soi Fon thought miserably as her cheeks slowly turned crimson.</p>
<p>Sunflowers reach,</p>
<p>Up to the skies,</p>
<p>Your heart is sunny,</p>
<p>And so are your eyes.</p>
<p>Foxgloves in hedges,</p>
<p>Surround the farms,</p>
<p>Pillows are comfortable,</p>
<p>And so are your arms.</p>
<p>"Aww! It sounds just like a love poem." Orihime cooed.</p>
<p>"Between teacher and student?" Uryu questioned.</p>
<p>"I wish I could rhyme like that." Chad added.</p>
<p>Daisies are pretty,</p>
<p>Urahara has no style,</p>
<p>"Hey!" Urahara whined defensibly</p>
<p>The day is warm,</p>
<p>And so is your smile.</p>
<p>A Night sky is beautiful,</p>
<p>Just like you.</p>
<p>"Oh Soi Fon!" Yoruichi beamed. "That was so beaut- Soi Fon?"</p>
<p>Soi Fon was gone, having slipped from the group before Yoruichi finished the final verse. She was now zipping through Karakura Town, her face as red as Omaeda's bloodstains on Suzumebachi.</p>
<p>"This is a nightmare!" She cried. "It has to be!"</p>
<p>Soi Fon finally stop moving once she landed on the top of the high school to catch her breath.</p>
<p>"How will I ever face Lady Yoruichi again?" She thought miserably. Suddenly, she felt a familiar spiritual pressure and turned around.</p>
<p>"Lady Yoruichi?"</p>
<p>Hey little bee!" Yoruichi greeted. "Why'd you bail on the party?"</p>
<p>"Well I..." Soi Fon fumbled over her words. ...the poem...</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>Soi Fon looked up. "W-What?"</p>
<p>"Thank you for the poem! It was very beautiful."</p>
<p>Soi Fon felt her already flushed face heat up even more and looked down in a futile attempt to hide it from Yoruichi.</p>
<p>"Really? You don't think it was weird or creepy or anything?"</p>
<p>"Why would I find it creepy?" Yoruichi purred. She turned to face an approaching flying hollow and kicked the air with all her might. The force of the kick was enough to destroy the hollow on impact.</p>
<p>"I do have pretty strong legs after all."</p>
<p>Yoruichi then pulled Soi Fon into a hug. Soi Fon was taken aback but then calmed down and settled into the hug.</p>
<p>"And your arms are really comfortable."</p>
<p>Yoruichi smiled at that as she released Soi Fon. "The cake arrived at the shop while you where gone. We better go get some before Urahara eats it all."</p>
<p>"Yeah." Soi Fon agreed. The two flash masters flash stepped back to the shop as the waning sun finally surrendered to the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Orihime and the Magic Show</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Orihime couldn't believe her luck. She was walking with Ichigo downtown on a beautiful spring day. He had asked her if she could help him pick up some supplies for his father and Orihime of course said yes. She knew it wasn't really a date but it sure felt like it.</p>
<p>"Ok. All we need is some melatonin and we'll be good to go!' Ichigo explained</p>
<p>"Right!" Orihime chimed in.</p>
<p>As the duo turned the corner toward the pharmacy, they were treated to the sight of a stage show surrounded by people there was a man dressed like a typical magician standing next to a familiar face.</p>
<p>"Chad!?" The two shouted in unison.</p>
<p>"And now you are a chicken!" The mystery man said as he snapped his fingers.</p>
<p>"Cluck. Cluck. Cluck." Chad said emotionlessly as he waved his elbows up and down. This caused the audience to explode into laughter as Ichigo and Orihime came closer.</p>
<p>"Chad! What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo asked.</p>
<p>"Cluck. Cluck. Cluck." Chad answered.</p>
<p>"Ah! He has been hypnotized!" The man replied. "I am Meiji the Magnificent and I specialize in hypnosis!"</p>
<p>"Sounds like a load of crap." Ichigo muttered.</p>
<p>"Oh! Oh! I wanna try!" Orihime exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Orihime! Are you sure?" Ichigo asked.</p>
<p>"Of course!" The orange haired girl jumped onto the stage with gusto and confronted Meiji. "Me next! Me next!"</p>
<p>Meiji looked at Orihime in bewilderment for a moment before clearing his throat and recomposing himself.</p>
<p>"Hello young lady!" He greeted warmly. "And what my your name be?"</p>
<p>"Orihime Inoue!"</p>
<p>"Well Orihime, I'll grant your request but first I must release my previous volunteer!" Meiji snapped his fingers and Chad became still.</p>
<p>"Hey Ichigo. Orihime." He greeted.</p>
<p>"Hi Chad!" Orihime chirped.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Hi." Ichigo said awkwardly.</p>
<p>Meiji took out a pocket watch and began swinging it back and fourth in front of Orihime who stared at it intently.</p>
<p>"Now close your eyes." Meiji quietly instructed.</p>
<p>Orihime did as he asked.</p>
<p>"Now when I snap my fingers and you open your eyes again, you will be an opera star!"</p>
<p>"Oh brother." Ichigo rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>Meiji snapped his fingers and Orihime opened her eyes. Ichigo was surprised to see that Orihime's eyes looked exactly the same.</p>
<p>"Orihime?"</p>
<p>All of a sudden, Orihime started singing at the top of her lungs. Her voice as well as the lyrics sounded familiar to Ichigo but he couldn't put his finger on it.</p>
<p>"I can tell that you've never been true to me! I can smell that your acting so fearfully! I can hear what you're hoping I want to hear. I can feel the alarm bells ringing in me! I can touch but I know you don't feel a thing! I can pray but I know you commit a sin! I can sense now it's all clear to me! You're no good and you mean no good treacherously!"</p>
<p>"Wow!" Ichigo mused. "Orihime's pretty good.</p>
<p>Meiji held up his fingers again. "Now you are bunny rabbit!" He proclaimed as he snapped them.</p>
<p>Orihime stopped singing and began hopping up and down. The audience roared in laughter.</p>
<p>"I bet Rukia would love that one." Ichigo smirked.</p>
<p>"And now! You are a beautiful bird!" Meiji snapped his fingers once more.</p>
<p>Orihime stood still for a moment before waving her arms up and down and running the crowd.</p>
<p>"I can fly!" She cried out as she jumped off the stage.</p>
<p>"No wait!" Mejij, Chad and Ichigo all called out in unison.</p>
<p>CRASH!</p>
<p>Orihime had landed right on top of Ichigo. She was fine but Ichigo looked a little roughed up.</p>
<p>"I release you!" Mejij snapped his fingers quickly before rushing to the scene with Chad.</p>
<p>"Are you guys okay!?" Chad asked.</p>
<p>Orihime slowly rose up and rubbed her head. "Oww! What happened?" She then noticed that she was on top of Ichigo, crushing him. With a quick yelp and burning cheeks, Orihime jumped off at once.</p>
<p>"Ichigo! I'm so sorry!" She cried as Chad helped him up.</p>
<p>"I also apologize to both of you." Meiji said sadly.</p>
<p>"It's fine." Ichigo said as he turned to Orihime. "I'm just glad your okay."</p>
<p>"Ichigo!" Orhime blushed even harder.</p>
<p>"How about we go and get some mochi?"</p>
<p>"Wait!" Meiji shouted. "That was Chad's trigger word!"</p>
<p>"Cluck. Cluck. Cluck." Chad began again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Kiyone and her Wonderful Captain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kiyone and her Wonderful Captain.</p><p>"Well I gave the Captain his tea this morning!" Kiyone declared.</p><p>"Well I gave him the biscuits for his tea!" Sentaro barked back.</p><p>It was a typical day at the Squad 13 barracks as Sentaro and Kiyone argued over who better served Captain Ukitake as they always did. Rukia walked into the room hoping to get some documents when she saw the two bickering.</p><p>"Umm. Is something wrong?" She asked awkwardly.</p><p>Both Soul Reaper took notice of their lieutenant and bowed.</p><p>"So sorry Lieutenant Kuchki." Kiyone answered. "I was just trying to explain to Sentaro how my contribution to Squad 13 and Captain Ukitake is much greater than his is." She glared at Sentaro as she said this.</p><p>"Like hell it is! He shouted angrily. "I contribute so much more!"</p><p>Rukia mentally cursed herself for choosing now of all times to find those documents as she wore a fake smile.</p><p>"Now, now." She began. "You both do excellent for Squad 13 and Captain Ukitake." Both soul reapers seemed content.</p><p>Rukia searched around and found the documents she was looking for.</p><p>"Sentaro." She asked. "Would you please give these documents to Captain Hitsugaya at Squad 10?"</p><p>"Oh. Of course!" Sentaro grabbed the documents and ran out the door.</p><p>"What were those documents for?" Kiyone asked.</p><p>"Captain Ukitake wants to hold a party for the end of Summer this weekend so he's trying to invite as many squads as possible." Rukia answered. "So far, only squad 8 has agreed to join."</p><p>"What?" Kiyone exclaimed. "Why would anyone turn down a party with Captain Ukitake?"</p><p>"Rukia smiled, this time genuinely. "You really care about Captain Ukitake, don't you?"</p><p>Kiyone blushed a little but didn't lose her own smile. "Of course I do. Captain Ukitake is simply the best! You know, the other day, he left his Captain's haori in his office and- Kiyone suddenly stopped herself.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Rukia asked.</p><p>"Oh. It's nothing." Kiyone replied sheepishly "I should really get going."</p><p>"But wait! What were you about to say?"</p><p>"I really...D-Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Kiyone asked.</p><p>"Of course." Rukia promised.</p><p>Kiyone gulped and looked around to make sure she and Rukia were alone.</p><p>"So I went to pick up the captain's haori, made sure I was alone and...well...sniffed it."</p><p>Kiyone lowered her head in shame, expecting the lieutenant to cringe at her confession and was surprised when she instead asked; "What did it smell like?"</p><p>Kiyone looked up in shock of Rukia's interest. "L-Like coconut."</p><p>"Really?" Rukia asked. "That would be a fitting smell for the Captain."</p><p>"Indeed." Kyone shuffled nervously. "I gotta say Lieutenant Kuchiki, I didn't really expect you to be so interested in the Captain's scent."</p><p>Rukia blushed a little as well. "Well to be honest, I was kinda of curious about that as well."</p><p>Suddenly, there was a cough from outside the door followed by some blood droplets spraying on the door.</p><p>"C-Captain!" The two girls shouted in unison.</p><p>Captain Ukitake limped though the doorway, wearing a sheepish smile as he wiped the blood away from his mouth.</p><p>"Hello Rukia, Kiyone." He greeted warmly.</p><p>"How long have you been standing there?" Rukia asked as Kiyone was slowly overcome with horror.</p><p>"Oh! Well I just came back from Shunsui's place a few minutes ago."</p><p>"W-Were you eavesdropping on us?" Rukia asked sternly. Her glare made Ukitake wince while Kiyone's face continued to burn crimson.</p><p>"I-I-I didn't mean too! I swear!" Ukitake defended. He looked to Kiyone and once again smiled. "I was just glad someone had finally noticed the new shampoo I've been using."</p><p>Kiyone could only stare in horror as she realized the captain heard everything she said. Suddenly, she started screaming and ran off through the other doorway.</p><p>Ukitake and Rukia were dumnfounded.</p><p>"Do you think she'll be alright." Ukitake asked.</p><p>"I'm sure she'll be fine." Rukia replied. "In 3 to 4 weeks." Rukia noticed Ukitake's hair and, deciding now or never, took a quick sniff.</p><p>"Wow!" She gasped in amazement. "It really does smell like coconut!"</p><p>Ukitake turned to Rukia with yet another warm smile of gratitude. "Why thank you Rukia! It's really good shampoo!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Nemu and her Odd Behavior</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nemu and her Odd Behavior</p><p>It was another ordinary day at the Department of Research and Development which of course meant that Mayuri was gleefully preparing to experiment on another poor soul.</p><p>"Um, Captain? Are you sure this is safe?" The "volunteer" asked fretfully.</p><p>Mayuri groaned in annoyance. "Of course it's safe. "I am merely testing how much spiritual pressure a person can withstand before disintegration. The room your in will tell me when your body is near the breaking point at which then Nemu will release the pressure.</p><p>"O-Okay."</p><p>Mayuri pressed the start button and the spiritual pressure inside the room began to increase. The soul reaper inside already began to feel dizzy.</p><p>"80..90..100..110..120!" Mayuri exclaimed as he read the charts. "Alright Nemu! Release the pressure!</p><p>There was no answer and the pressure continued to increase.</p><p>"Nemu!? Release the pressure!"</p><p>C-Captain? I don't feel so good."</p><p>POP!</p><p>The soul reaper's clothes fell lifelessly to the floor as Mayuri payed no mind.</p><p>"Where is that damn girl?" Mayuri pondered. In his preparation of the experiment, he was completely unaware of Nemu's absence.</p><p>"Well it's a good thing I have surveillance bacteria stored inside of her." Mayuri marched toward the screen through which he could see what the bacteria saw and switched it from Uryu to Nemu. Apparently, she was watching the Squad 11 training grounds.</p><p>"Squad 11?" Mayuri growled. "What business could Nemu possibly have in that den of battle-hungry idiots?"</p><p>Among those training at the grounds was Ikkaku, the 3rd seat of Squad 11. He was practicing kendo with wooden swords and seemed completely unaware of Nemu spying on him.</p><p>"Nemu seems to have a strange interest in particular to this buffoon." Mayuri mumbled. "Nemu will have to answer for this."</p><p>An hour later, Nemu flash-stepped back into the lab where Mayuri was waiting.</p><p>"Well well well!" He grunted. "Look who finally decided to show up."</p><p>"Master Mayuri." Nemu responded. "I can explain."</p><p>"No need! I already know you were at the 11th division training grounds watching that imbecile Ikkaku. Now explain yourself!"</p><p>If Mayuri wasn't as angry or at least as self-centered as he was, he would have noticed just the tiniest tint of red appear on Nemu's otherwise stoic face. Nevertheless, he didn't and she felt somewhat glad for that.</p><p>"The truth is, Master Mayuri, I feel a strange...fascination with Ikkaku."</p><p>"What do you mean fascination?" Mayuri asked impatiently.</p><p>"How do I explain it? Nemu pondered. "It's like when I see Ikkaku, I wish to be around him and to physically touch him. I've never felt this way before Master Mayuri."</p><p>Now it was no surprise to anybody that Mayuri wasn't exactly an expert on love but in truth, he knew absolutely nothing about it. It was a completely alien concept to him and, by proxy, Nemu. For this reason, neither party knew what these feeling were. Mayuri, however, saw this as an opportunity for more experimentation, causing a monstrous grin to appear on his face.</p><p>"I see. Well I should punish you for ditching your duties but I think just this once I'll let it slide. But you better be here tomorrow. Your presence for the experiment then is vital.</p><p>"Very well Master Mayuri." And with that, Nemu left.</p><p>Mayuri laughed manically to himself.</p><p>"Oh what fun tomorrow will be."</p><p>When Ikkaku woke up on this particular morning, he was expecting to see his room or maybe Yachiru chewing on his head again. What he was not expecting was to be strapped down to a metal table in a empty room.</p><p>"Hey!" He shouted. "What the hell's going on here? Someone let me out!"</p><p>"Pipe down you idiot." A door opened to reveal Mayuri and Nemu who was holding a basket.</p><p>"Captain Kurotsuchi?" Ikkaku cried out in fear. "What the hell are you doing to me? What's in the basket?"</p><p>"I said pipe down!" Mayuri shouted before turning to Nemu. "Alright Nemu. I'm going to leave you two alone in this room. I expect to see some interesting results." Mayuri left the room and Nemu approached the bound Ikkaku.</p><p>"What are you gonna do to me!?" Ikkau asked fearfully.</p><p>Nemu sat the basket down and pulled out a sandwich which see brought to Ikkaku's face.</p><p>"Eat." She stated..</p><p>Ikkaku was reluctant to eat the sandwich knowing that it most likely had something horrible inside it but, deciding that what might happen if he doesn't eat could be worse, he took a bite.</p><p>Hey. Ikkaku mused, feeling a tad more relaxed. "That wasn't half bad."</p><p>"Do you like it?" Nemu asked. "I made it myself."</p><p>"Really?" Ikkaku asked surprised. "It's uh not gonna explode is it?"</p><p>Nemu giggled a little at the comment before feeding Ikkaku more of the sandwich. Meanwhile, Mayuri watched from the surveillance room.</p><p>"I'm not sure what Nemu is doing but I'm sure it will turn interesting soon enough." He assured himself.</p><p>One Hour Later.</p><p>Why isn't anything happening?" Mayuri hissed in frustration. "Was that sandwich really set to explode or not!"</p><p>All this time, Nemu and Ikkaku had been simply talking with each other. Nemu was pleased and even Ikkaku was enjoying himself despite being strapped down.</p><p>"This is madness!" Mayuri growled as he reached for a button. "It's a good thing I implanted this into Nemu's body when I did."</p><p>Suddenly a long metal centipede-like creature forced itself out of Nemu's mouth and attacked Ikkaku.</p><p>"Gah! What the hell is this thing? Get it off of me!"</p><p>Nemu panicked. She had forgotten that Mayuri had implanted that in her for emergencies. Using kido, she quickly released Ikkaku from his confines. The 11th division soul reaper wrestled with the metal monstrosity until he finally managed to pull it off. He threw it on the ground and began stomping on it.</p><p>As he did this, the creature started shooting a red laser beam all over the room. Nemu had to drop to the ground to avoid getting hit by the blast. Ikkaku finally succeeded in stomping the creature's head but not before it let out one last blast that broke the window Mayuri was hiding behind.</p><p>"Drat! The design was flawed."</p><p>"You!" Ikkaku growled, seething with rage as he unsheathed his zanpaktou.</p><p>"Wait a minute! How do you still have your zanpaktou? I plucked you right from your bed?" Mayuri asked dumbfounded.</p><p>"Squad 11 always sleep with their zanpaktous so they can be ready to fight at a moment's notice." Ikkaku calmly explained as he held the sword before him. "Grow, Hozukimaru!"</p><p>"Now wait a minute! I can explain!"</p><p>Ikkaku jumped up from the room and began chasing the 12th division captain. Nemu watched the scene unfold with a smile as she sat on the floor of the experiment room.</p><p>And that's the story of how Nemu tricked Mayuri into setting up her first date.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Kukaku and her Fake Arm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a normal day at the Shiba household as Kukaku was enjoying a nice smoke of her pipe. Her old friend Yoruichi would be here in an hour and they planned to have tea and talk about the good old days. Her brother Ganju was in town getting supplies for the visit. As she took another puff off her pipe, Kukaku let out a sigh a relaxation.</p>
<p>"This is nice." She said to herself.</p>
<p>All of a sudden, Ganju's boar Bonnie crashed through the walls of the house and into Kukaku.</p>
<p>"Bonnie! Wait for me!" Ganju shouted as he ran into the room. He was out of breath and panting heavily.</p>
<p>"Sorry about that sis. I think Bonnie caught scent of something she liked and I lost control."</p>
<p>"Ganju!" Kukaku roared as she erupted out of the rubble. "How many times have I told you to keep your boar under control!?"</p>
<p>"I said I was sorry!" Ganju whimpered. "I didn't mean for Bonnie to crash into you. You don't have to give me such a rude gesture!"</p>
<p>"Huh? What do ya mean "rude gesture"?</p>
<p>"I mean the one your giving me right now with your right hand."</p>
<p>Kukaku looked down at her prosthetic arm and saw that it was indeed extending it's middle finger. She tried to unclench it but it wouldn't respond. Kukaku realized what had happened and groaned.</p>
<p>"Ganju you dumbass! Your boar broke my arm." She growled.</p>
<p>"Your arm doesn't seem broken to me!" Ganju retorted pointing to her flailing left arm.</p>
<p>"Not my real one!" She shouted. "Where's my repair kit?"</p>
<p>"I think I saw it in the guest room or maybe that was the bathroom." Ganju pondered.</p>
<p>Kukaku facepalmed with her good hand. "Alright. You search the left side of the house and I'll check the right. The two Shiba siblings began searching the house for the repair kit. They looked everywhere. All the vases. Under the mats. Even in the toilet. Kukaku turned the whole house upside down (literally. Ganju fell out screaming and everything.) But alas, the kit was nowhere to be found.</p>
<p>"Dammit!" Kukaku cried out! "Where the hell is that damn kit!"</p>
<p>"Calm down big sis!" Ganju pleaded. "I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere!"</p>
<p>"Yeah! Well I'm not waiting for that." Kukaku shouted as she bit hard on her prosthetic middle finger and began pulling.</p>
<p>"Wh-What are you doing?" Ganju asked fretfully.</p>
<p>"Ganna try..to...bull thiss...thang ooff..." Kukaku hissed through her teeth before letting go. "If I can pull off the middle finger, at least it'll look like a fist."</p>
<p>Ganju didn't say anything as he was still trying to process Kukaku's logic.</p>
<p>Kukaku, on the other hand, continued in trying to pull the finger off, jerking her head violently back and forth as she did so. However, she jerked back so hard, that she fell into the next room.</p>
<p>"Big sis!" Ganju cried out. "Are you okay!?" He rushed to help his sister only to stop in his tracks as he saw her rise up. He stood silently for a moment before bursting into laughter.</p>
<p>"Hey!" Kukaku growled. "What the hell are you laughing at!?"</p>
<p>Kukaku got her answer when she tried to pull the arm up only to feel a sharp pain in her nostrils. During the fall, the prosthetic middle finger wedged itself into her nose, making her look like she was picking it.</p>
<p>Ganju was literally rolling on the floor with laughter.</p>
<p>"Stop laughing Ganju!" Kukaku snapped, her face beginning to turn pink. "Stop laughing and help me!"</p>
<p>"Hey!" Yoruichi flash-stepped right outside the door, holding a bag full of goods and supplies. "How's my favorite...Head of...the...Shiba clan.</p>
<p>Silence filled the room as the pink on Kukaku's face slowly matched her top. Finally, Kukaku broke the silence with a loud shout.</p>
<p>"DON'T ASSUME ANYTHING! I CAN EXPLAIN!"</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>"Ganju! Why didn't you tell me you lent the repair kit to Yoruichi?" Kukaku hissed.</p>
<p>"I guess I just forgot." Ganju whimpered apologetically. "Please forgive me."</p>
<p>Kukaku raised her good arm, causing Ganju to fret. Rather than punch or hit him, she simply patted him on the head.</p>
<p>"It's fine." She stated. "Just remember next time okay?"</p>
<p>"O-Okay."</p>
<p>"And finshed!" Yourichi proudly proclaimed. Kukaku rose her prosthetic arm and flex the fingers. It was good as new. The first thing Kukaku did with her newly repaired arm was wipe the sweat from her brow.</p>
<p>"Thanks Yourichi. I knew I could count on you."</p>
<p>"Anytime." Yourichi purred as she placed the tools back in the repair kit. Kukaku wrapped both her arms around Ganju and Yoruichi. "Listen guys." She muttered with a slight blush returning to her face. "Don't tell anyone about what happened here okay?"</p>
<p>Yourichi and Ganju both laughed before agreeing to Kukaku's wish and the trio enjoyed some late evening tea.</p>
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